It is important when writing an obituary to be very careful about the accuracy of the information. Dates, names of relatives and details of the service should all be checked and double checked. If you are at all unsure, get help from other friends or relatives.

Here are a few tips to help get you started:

• Understand the format. You may need to make a call to your local newspaper and find out about the particular format they request. Some offer free listings and some have a fee with a price range depending on the amount of space needed.

• Be aware of identity theft. When you publish obituary information, you are informing people who may wish to take advantage of the situation. Making sure bank accounts and credit card accounts are closed ahead of the notice being published will protect against identity theft. (You will also want to be sure someone stays in the home during the service since you essentially are advertising when and for how long the house will be empty otherwise).

• Strike a balance between life and death.  Make your work not only a basic notice of the death, but also a compelling story of a life lived. Include a brief bio that does justice to your loved one.

• Speak in the third person.  Describe the deceased as an individual, in the third person, and do not start with “the family announces . . .” The obituary is not about the family, but rather the person who has passed.

• Who to include.  Think about how many generations you want to go back, and be careful about not just naming the ones that the deceased personally knew and forgetting the others. This can get especially tricky if there were step-families or half-siblings, but it is important to include information that is balanced and thorough.
   
• Give examples.  Show characteristics rather than just listing facts. This is an opportunity to tell a great story about how you loved on lived.
   
• Consider writing a long version. You may want to write a longer version for a family history record that includes the details that won’t fit in the newspaper.

Customary information includes:

1. Full legal name of the deceased (nickname may be included in parenthesis)
2. City or town of residence
   1. To avoid having the residence robbed while the family is attending the calling hours and funeral, specific information about the residence of the deceased and relatives should never be published.
3. Relative list including:
   1. Predeceased list (relatives who have died)
   2. Survived by list (relatives that are still alive)
      1. Parents
      2. Sons
      3. Daughters
      4. Grandchildren
      5. Great Grandchildren
      6. Sisters
      7. Brothers
4. Work history
5. Place and time of the funeral and any calling hours
6. Place of burial
7. Optional information could include:
   1. Special interests such as hobbies
   2. Associations (such as membership in local or national organizations.
   3. Special Affiliations (such as volunteer work for the A.S.P.C.A., etc.)
   4. Military service

Obituaries can be written at the time of death or before. Many people find it helpful to write their own obituary notice in advance for the following reasons:

1. The surviving family members might not remember, or may struggle to remember, specific dates (birth, employment, retirement, previous deaths).
2. They might not know proper spellings of people’s names, places, companies or organizations.
3. They might not know all of the deceased’s memberships to volunteer organizations and community clubs.
4. The self-written obit could specify a favorite charity for donations that the surviving family wouldn’t have thought of.